Grief affects everyone differently. Here’s a rabbit and human perspective.

Hello. It’s Belinda.

First I want to thank everyone for all the kind sympathy notes, messages and emails.

I read every one before I forwarded them to Enzo’s roommate, also known as “Dad.” I know he really appreciated everything you said about Enzo.

He especially liked the stories you shared about the rabbits you’ve lost. It’s so hard.

You can read an update about the House of Buns here.

I also want to thank my roommate for writing my blog last week. I needed some time off work. Too upset to write.

You can read the blog here. I think she did an excellent job.

And today she’s going to help me again with a “co-blog.”

I hope you don’t mind. I want to write about grief since I miss Enzo so much.

But it’s a tough topic. Also I want to cover the human side of it too. Not just how rabbits feel. 

By the way if you’ve never seen my roommate, here’s a portrait I drew of her. She doesn’t have a professional photo.

OK I’ll start it off.

Belinda: I miss Enzo a lot. He wasn’t even sick.

Roommate: It’s been a big shock for you. Sometimes it’s a little easier when you know they might die soon. You can prepare yourself. 

Belinda: Is that what you do?

Roommate: I’ve done that in the past with rabbits who were sick for weeks or months. I spend extra time with them every day. And I cry in my room. 

Belinda: I didn’t know that. 

Roommate: I miss them before they’re gone. It probably doesn’t make sense to a rabbit. 

Belinda: I miss them after they’re gone. I wish I could have a work meeting with Enzo. Every time I think of something I want to tell him I get upset again.

Roommate: Do you tell him anyway?  

Belinda: No. I talk about him to Little Fang. It makes me feel better to tell stories about him to another rabbit. 

Roommate: A lot of humans do that too. We like to talk about our rabbits to other rabbit roommates. Especially when we lose them.  

Belinda: I hear you talk to rabbits who aren’t here anymore.

Roommate: Oh boy. 

Belinda: I can hear it through the vents.  

Roommate: I talk to the first one. She died in 2009.

Belinda: It’s none of my business. 

Roommate:  Well it’s sort of your business. Because if she never lived here, I would not know how to help you with your blogs. 

Belinda: Are you kidding me right now.

Roommate: She taught me a lot of rabbit language. So did her rabbit husband. And all the others who came and went before you moved in.

Belinda: You never talk about those other rabbits.  

Roommate: I don’t want you to get jealous. But I loved them a lot.  

Belinda: Your eyes are getting shiny. 

Roommate: Do you see what I mean, Belinda? The grief never goes away. That’s because I still feel them in my mind, and it hurts and comes out as tears, because I wish they were here in the room with us.

Belinda: I would probably chase them. 

Roommate: Oh my big white bunny. You are a menace and the love of my life. 

Belinda: You have photos of rabbits on the fridge. Are those the rabbits who lived here before me? 

Roommate: Some of them. A lot of foster rabbits stayed here too. Usually for only a few weeks or months. I love to look at their faces again.

Belinda:  I don’t want to look at photos of Enzo. It makes me upset.

Roommate:  A lot of humans feel that way too. They wait a long time before they can look at photos. Some don’t want to look at their rabbit’s toys or blankets either. They hurry up and put all of it away in a box. 

Belinda:  I like things to stay the way they are. Even if the rabbit is gone.

Roommate:  Me too Belinda. I leave all the blankets and water bowls in the same spot for weeks.  

Belinda:  There’s no right way or wrong way to grieve.

Roommate:  It’s so hard no matter what.   

Belinda:  Thank you for helping me with this co-blog.

Roommate:  Thank you for writing about this topic. It’s a big one.

Sincerely,